


if you’ll have me

by scftsumu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Meeting the Parents, SakuAtsu, Side Sunaosa, i should be doing homework rn lol, ocs are the other miya siblings + their kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26393035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scftsumu/pseuds/scftsumu
Summary: "loving a miya, huh? I guess that would be one of the hardest things in the world.""but is it worth it?""a thousands times yes."-in which sakusa kiyoomi finds the warmth of a family in the miyas.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu & Suna Rintarou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 102





	if you’ll have me

"Omi, hurry up! The train's arriving soon!"

"Alright alright, calm down..."

The fake-blonde chuckles in response as he lets out one of his signature grins. "Sorry, I'm just so excited for you to meet them."

Kiyoomi only heaves a sigh as he jabs his boyfriend playfully on the forehead. "C'mon, let's just go."

Said boyfriend pouts as he reaches for Kiyoomi's hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Cute. They board the (surprisingly empty) train and find seats at the back corner of the last train carriage. Taking their seats, Atsumu leans his head on his shoulder, the gentle yet firm grip on his hand still remaining.

The train ride is a short one, from Osaka to Hyogo, it would only take half an hour. But Kiyoomi knows his boyfriend is exhausted, and that he could really use the rest, even if it is just a mere thirty minutes. 

The silence leaves Kiyoomi wondering just how his past self would react to his current state: Hopelessly in love with and whipped for a total idiot and currently headed towards said idiot's childhood home. Oh, if only that was all.

He is about to visit the setter's childhood for the first time. But that is not what terrifies him. He is about to meet his boyfriend's parents and other siblings for the first time too, with the exception of his twin brother and his boyfriend, both whom he has known since high school. Just the sheer thought of meeting the family of someone so dear to him sends a shiver down his spine.

What if they don't like him? What if they don't approve of their relationship? What if he simply isn't enough? 

You're an idiot. He tells himself. You've faced hundreds of monsters on the volleyball court and overcome so many of them. But you are afraid of meeting your boyfriend's family? Pathetic.

Kiyoomi bites his lip as self-doubt and insecurity flood his mind like a tsunami and almost overwhelm him. 

What will I do if they disapprove of me? What do I say to them? What if-

"Omi, stop panicking, I can pretty much feel you shaking from here."

The raven-haired male lets out a breath he had no idea he had been holding and tightens his grip on Atsumu's hand and oh- Oh.

"Omi."

No response.

"Kiyoomi," the setter whispers gently, voice deep and husky, yet laced with so much emotion and fondness, "look at me."

Slowly, Kiyoomi forces his eyelids open and is met with the (absolutely breathtaking) sight of his boyfriend.

Atsumu lets a soft smile graced his lips as he intertwines their fingers. 

"It's gonna be okay."

Kiyoomi can only hope it will.

—

When they finally arrive at the train station, Kiyoomi spots two familiar faces in the crown. 

"Oi! 'Samu, Sunarin!" Atsumu yells, cupping his hands around his mouth in an attempt to amplify his voice.

He looks like a five-year-old.

Cute.

"Ew. Go away," Osamu replies flatly, rolling his eyes. But Kiyoomi can see the fondness in his expression as he pulls his brother into a headlock. His lips twitch upwards at the interaction before him.

"Yo, Sakusa." Suna Rintarou greets. Kiyoomi responds with an awkward bow and small wave. They have met before, at games, and he has heard a lot about said male from his cousin. The four of them; Atsumu, Osamu, Suna and Kiyoomi himself have sat at Onigiri Miya far past closing hours, chatting and talking about anything and everything. It was surprisingly pleasant. 

But never have they met under such circumstances. 

Suna casts him an understanding look as he tries to reassure Kiyoomi.

"Nervous?"

"A little."

The former lets out a chuckle, "I was too. But don't worry, they're nice people."

"How nice?"

"The nicest, trust me"

So Kiyoomi trusts him.

—

"Tsumu-Oji-chan! Samu-Oji-chan! Suna-san!"

Kiyoomi winces at the high-pitched scream he hears as they approach a traditional-looking house. 

"Satoru, Natsuko! You guys have grown so much!" Atsumu exclaims, bending down to embrace the two young children.

Next to him, Suna snorts, "Who knew Atsumu was the doting uncle type."

Standing behind the children is a couple. The man looks to be in his early thirties, with black hair slicked back neatly. He has a similar physique to Osamu, taller than an average Japanese male, and seems rather athletic. 

Next to him stands a stunning woman, also seemingly in her early thirties, wearing a pale yellow dress that ends at her knees. Her wavy raven hair is put together in a messy bun and on her face is a warm smile.

Kiyoomi has absolutely no idea which is Atsumu's sibling.

Osamu, while equally but less obviously charmed by his niece and nephew, proceeds to greet his older sibling.

"Nii-san, Mayumi-san."

"Osamu-kun! I see you've been doing well, and please, just Mayumi's fine." The woman, now known as Mayumi, greets.

Meanwhile, the male approaches Kiyoomi and almost stretches his hand out for a handshake. And when Kiyoomi stiffens for a second, unsure of how to react, he shakes his head in apology. "Sorry, habit. Atsumu told us about you, it's nice to finally meet you, Sakusa."

Kiyoomi's heart melts a little at the fact that Atsumu has told his family about him and his aversion to touch. He nods in acknowledgement, "It's nice to meet you too, Miya-san."

The other male waves him off and laughs, "Skip the formalities. Just call me Mamoru, there are way too many Miyas in this household."

"Those are my kids, Satoru and Natsuko," He motions towards the two children, still clinging onto Atsumu. "And this is my wife, Mayumi."

Mayumi turns around at the mention of her name, waving at Kiyoomi, before returning to her conversation with Suna.

"Alright, let's go. Kimiko and Takeshi are already inside." 

Atsumu nods as he stands up, holding Natsuko's hand with his left and reaching for Kiyoomi's with his right. He gives Kiyoomi's hand a reassuring squeeze as they approach the door.

"Hey! How come I don't get to hold Tsumu-Oji-chan's hand?!"

"Be patient, Satoru, you'll get your turn."

—

"Ahhh~ I've missed this place!"

"You're like a child."

"Mean, Omi!"

Mamoru chortles at their bickering. "You guys remind me of when Mayumi and I were in high school."

At that moment, a short and plump lady enters from what Kiyoomi presumes is the kitchen. 

"Oh! You're all here! It's so good to see all of you!" She gushes, pulling each of them into a hug.

Kiyoomi freezes, once more. How do I-

But before he can even think of how to react, she stops right in front him, smile never faltering. She opts for a friendly wave instead.

"And you must be Sakusa! I've heard so much about you! Come in, come in, the food's almost ready."

"Please pardon the intrusion," Kiyoomi calls out to nobody in particular, slipping out of his shoes and hesitantly into the bedroom slippers provided. 

"Don't worry, Omi. These are new." He hears Atsumu whisper, giving his hand yet another reassuring squeeze. Upon hearing that, Kiyoomi instantly relaxes.

"Tsumu helped to sanitise everything when he visited last week. But mum and dad made sure to do it again yesterday." Osamu adds, causing Kiyoomi to swallow the lump in his throat.

Atsumu had done this for him. Atsumu's family had done this for him. They were actually willing to put in so much effort to suit his needs. What's this weird feeling in my chest? He wonders. Is it gratitude? Or is it guilt?

"Don't feel bad, Omi." Atsumu mutters under his breath, loud enough for only Kiyoomi to hear. "In return, just enjoy your stay. C'mon, let's go in! If you like Samu's cooking, I promise you, you'll love Kaa-san's cooking!"

And Atsumu looks like a five-year-old at an amusement park; so happy, so excited, he's literally beaming and oh- Kiyoomi could literally fall in love with this man all over again on the spot.

That soft and fond expression, that badly bleached hair, those guarded eyes that hide so much pain and insecurities yet reflect so much emotion. And that smile, so bright, so powerful, so impactful on others' lives, it is just like-

"The sun."

"What?"

"Your smile; it's just like the sun."

"Is that a compliment?"

"No. I'll go blind if I stare at it for too long."

"Omi!"

Kiyoomi stifles his giggles with his hand as he enters the house. He hopes to enjoy the rest of the night like this.

Spoiler alert: he does, for the most part.

—

Dinner is a pleasant yet lively affair.

They have a rather traditional Japanese meal. With rice, a variety of vegetables, meat and fish, as well as Miso soup, topped off with several pots of Green Tea.

Kiyoomi learns that Mama Miya is truly, a much better cook than Miya Osamu himself, and that is saying a lot.

He also meets Miya Shigeo, their father, Miya (soon-to-be Hirose) Kimiko, their older sister and Hirose Takeshi, her fiancé.

Shigeo is a quiet yet witty man. He remains quiet for most part of the meal, but the moment he opens his mouth, the whole table erupts into laughter. Kiyoomi swears he has never laughed so hard in his life (except for that one time his boyfriend was stuck in the Jacksuke costume) as he watches said boyfriend's father casually belting jokes out of nowhere.

Kimiko is a sociable and touchy woman. He observes as she clings onto her fiancé like a koala, reminding him of his own lover, who is: currently also clinging onto him like a koala. But nonetheless, she respects Kiyoomi's boundaries, and Takeshi seems to have no qualms about her clinginess.

But most importantly, he learns that Miya Natsuko, aged seven and Miya Satoru, aged five, are both huge fans of Kiyoomi himself. 

"Tsumu-oji-chan's really cool but 'Yoomi-san's so much cooler!"

"Yea! 'Yoomi-san's super cool!"

Kiyoomi finds himself smiling more often than not at the admiration of the two children, or at the two children in general. They remind him of Atsumu: sweet, genuine and loving. (But also loud and annoying, but he's grown immune to that.)

He talks more than he ever has at a social event. He talks about himself for once: about his feelings, about his mysophobia, about his touch aversion. And they listen. They are so willing to listen. The usually loud and boisterous family is surprisingly silent whenever he, or anyone for that matter, speaks. 

The amount of respect and care they have for one another shocks Kiyoomi. Even the twins try not to fight too much during conversations with their family. (Keyword: try)

By the end of the meal, he already feels so accepted here, like he is one of them, like he belongs. And he has never felt like this before. Not with his biological family, not with his past teammates, not even with his current teammates if he is being honest, though they are a close second. 

But along with the sense of belonging comes a pang of jealousy. It leaves him with a bitter aftertaste. As he stares longingly at his boyfriend's family, he wonders, why couldn't I have that?

He hates how he's never had such a family; warm and accepting, playful yet loving. He's only ever known strict parents and distant siblings, with constant punishments and scoldings for anything less than perfection, as a sign of affection.

He hates how Atsumu got to grow up in such a good environment, how on the contrary he was unlucky enough to end up with a family that was quite the opposite. 

But most of all, he hates how he is jealous of his boyfriend's relationship with his family. He knows it's wrong, that he should feel happy for him, but he cannot help it. Why does he deserve this any less than Atsumu? Why can't he have this? Why is the world just so unfair?

"-Mi, Omi, Earth to Kiyoomi," Atsumu chants, waving a hand in front of his face and effectively snapping Kiyoomi out of his trance.

"Sorry, I zoned out."

"It's fine! Samu and I are making Mochi for dessert, wanna come watch?"

Kiyoomi scoffs. "You? Making Mochi? No thanks, I'd rather not witness the mess."

Atsumu holds his hand to his chest in mock indignation, "Excuse me, are you doubting my culinary skill? I'll have you know that I've been making the best Mochi since I was ten! Even 'Samu agrees!"

"Oi! Are you coming or not?" Osamu's voice reverberates throughout the living room.

"Yeah, yeah! See you later, Omi, hopefully you'll be enchanted by my fabulous Mochi," Atsumu winks playfully, pressing a soft kiss to Kiyoomi's forehead before setting off towards the kitchen.

A smile graces Kiyoomi's lips. It all seems so domestic, so amazing, so perfects and he thinks, I could really get used to this.

For a moment, just a short moment, the bitterness and envy leave him alone.

—

While waiting for the twins to prepare their dessert, Kiyoomi sits with the rest of the Miya family (minus Mama Miya, who still does not trust her two fully-grown adult sons to get along in the kitchen) around a large coffee table in the living room.

They continue chatting, joking and laughing, and once again, Kiyoomi feels a sense of acceptance, of warmth, of family. The family asks about Suna and Kiyoomi's games, as well as share embarrassing stories of the twins from their childhood. 

"-and then Atsumu believed him! Then he started crying and it was so funny."

Kiyoomi giggles as the whole table bursts into laughter. If there's anything he takes away from today's conversation, it is that his boyfriend, even at eight years old, was always an idiot, stupid enough to believe that he was adopted while his twin was not.

"What about you, Sakusa? Got any embarrassing stories about Atsumu?"

"Well..." He starts. All eyes are on him, waiting in anticipation.

He then proceeds to explain the entire Jacksuke incident to them, leaving the adults in tears, panting from laughing so hard, and the children slightly confused, but amusement evident on their faces. 

From the kitchen, Atsumu yells, "Omi! Are you telling them embarrassing stories again?"

"What do you mean? Everything you do is embarrassing." Kiyoomi retorts, face emotionless and tone flat as the family cracks up even more. 

He can't help but laugh along.

Soon after, the twins return with a plate of mochi in hand each. Atsumu sets the plate down in front of Kiyoomi, as if challenging him to take a bite. He does.

It is unexpectedly delicious. The texture is nearly flawless, it sticks to his teeth and has just the right amount of sweetness. It reminds him of his lover, who is currently sitting in his lap, leaning his head on his chest.

"I refuse to believe that you made these."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Osamu, did he even do anything?"

"Stop doubting me!" 

Atsumu has the most adorable pout on his face and Kiyoomi just wants to squish his cheeks. Restrain yourself, Kiyoomi. You have to maintain your dignity.

Osamu cackles at them, and Suna joins him. "Surprisingly, he did most of the work. I was just there to make sure he didn't burn down the kitchen."

Kiyoomi stares at him in astonishment, jaw-dropping. "You're telling me, you have been able to make mochi of such quality, and you've been hiding it from me?!" 

Atsumu flashes a cheeky grin, and Kiyoomi's heart melts at the sight. He makes sure to remind himself that this smile is precious. This smile is reserved for you. Treasure it.

If he makes a silent oath to do his very best, to give his all to be the cause of that smile, nobody has to know. For Miya Atsumu gives his all in everything he does, and he expects it to be returned. 

Kiyoomi wants to slap himself the moment the feelings of bitterness and jealousy return.

—

Dessert goes by a lot faster than Kiyoomi would have preferred. He wants to talk more. He wants to get to know these people even better. He wants to share more about himself, and to hear more about them.

Kiyoomi has never been a sociable person. He has never wanted to share anything personal about himself. He has always loathed others prodding into his personal life.

So why? Why is he so willing to talk to these people? Why is he, for the first time ever, actually dreading having to stop talking?

He shakes these thoughts out of his head, trying to remind himself that they are staying for two more days, that he will still have the chance to continue conversing with them.

"We'll be taking the guest room, is that okay?" He hears his boyfriend whisper. Kiyoomi gives a small nod in response and they all retreat to their respective rooms, exchanging "good nights".

Kiyoomi follows Atsumu into the guest room, which looks decently clean and well-maintained.

The blonde inhales sharply, turning to face him. "Are you okay? You seem kind of-"

"I'm fine."

Atsumu looks doubtful, and further questions with genuine concern laced in his voice. "Are you sure?"

Kiyoomi does not know what overcomes him, but the stupid, disgusting, horrid, feelings from before return. The jealousy and unjust drown him, as he struggles to breathe, stay afloat, to maintain control of himself.

But before he can comprehend anything else, he lashes out. At Atsumu. At the love of his life.

"I said I'm fine!"

His boyfriend flinches at the raise of his voice. "Omi-"

"It's not fair. You don't deserve this, you never deserved this. Your family is so kind, so loving, so warm-" His voice cracks, but the broken look on Atsumu's face makes it worse.

Nonetheless, he does not stop there.

"They love you so much, and... and... I don't know! It's not fair and you don't deserve this and-"

"Don't deserve what? Kiyoomi." 

"This! The love and support and affection and just- everything!" 

Kiyoomi hates himself. He knows that he is hurting Atsumu. He knows that he is attacking all his insecurities about being unloved. He knows he is being unfair. He wants to stop.

But he can't.

"You think I don't deserve to he loved, Sakusa?" 

He looks up. And his heart shatters because he just did the one thing he swore he would never do. Because Miya Atsumu is standing in front of him, glistening tears running down his cheeks silently. 

"Atsumu-"

"No it's fine, I'm just-" He stifles a sob with the sleeve of his hoodie. Kiyoomi's hoodie, to be exact.

"I'm gonna go for a run. Uh... You can shower first, sorry."

And before Kiyoomi can stop him, Atsumu bolts out of the guest room.

Shit. He messed up.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys, this was originally planned to be a oneshot but uh sakuatsu happened 🤡 i'll probably only have the time to write the second part next month lol i love exams ✌️ anyway i should be doing my physics homework right now but yes please comment what you think (only if you want to haha) *\\(^o^)/* oh yeah also, it's my first time writing in present tense haha i hope there aren't too many grammar mistakes :") thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed!!


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